Dear Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,

Recently, my son has developed a crack-like addiction to your show.  Particularly, one specific episode in which Goofy is left to be Zookeeper for the Day and, after falling asleep, all of the animals escape.  Throughout the episode, Goofy and Mickey wander around the Clubhouse world to find 8 cows who have magically found themselves on an island in the middle of a lake, 10 pigs who have somehow ended up riding the Ferris wheel, and 1 baby elephant who they discover is hiding in a tree.

Now, I feel as though I should explain what is wrong with all of these scenarios but, I also feel that the problems with these situations should be rather self-explanatory.

Yes, that elephant is, in fact, in a tree.

Content aside, because of the apparent addictive nature of your television program, my evenings and Saturdays are now filled with the sounds of Mickey Mouse shouting “Meeska Mooska” over and over again, my son yelling “Oh Toodles” at random times throughout the day with expectations that I will bring him something, and having to dance more times than I would like to admit while singing “Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.”

Now, I like to think that I am an intelligent and thoughtful woman.  I am a counselor who has been trained in multiple forms of relaxation, meditation, mindfulness, and anger management.  I have done everything I can to teach my son how to use his words and be kind to others.  And, nonetheless, every time that theme song starts to play, it takes every muscle in my body to stop me from punching that damn mouse in the face.

I simply ask that, whatever you have done to make my son wake up from his afternoon naps and demand Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, please stop.  I cannot handle too much more of the “Meeska Mooska.”

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Brutally Honest Mom