Monthly Archives: September 2013
All Boy…
People constantly keep telling me that Noah is “all boy” and there really isn’t a better way to describe his infectious little rough-and-tumble attitude. I never knew that raising such an enthusiastic and undeniably rambunctious boy would teach me so much about how much I didn’t know about boys.
Before becoming a parent, if you had told me that boys and girls are just inherently different, I would have told you that you were lying. I would have gone on and on with what my Women’s Studies professors told me about socialization and gender misconceptions and nature vs. nurture research and data. It would have taken a lot of evidence to convince me otherwise.

Well- Noah is all the evidence I needed.
He completely encompasses everything that you have ever read or heard about little boys. He is so physical and energetic, dirty and slimy, squish bugs and dive head first enthusiastic about the world around him that he can’t even contain the excitement sometimes. The other night, I spent 12 minutes (and yes I was watching the clock) looking at and discussing the enormous spider that builds her web outside on our porch every night. After rushing to stop him from grabbing her (and then probably immediately putting her in his mouth), I had to explain about 4 different ways why we can’t touch her and why we have to leave her web alone and why it is not okay to scream at her or squish her. He was so excited and red faced that he could barely catch his breath to get all of his questions out. And trying to explain all of this to a 2 year old takes quite a bit of patience for someone who really just wants to be far, far away from the spider.
But, spiders aside, Noah has taught me more about everything I didn’t know about boys than I could have imagined. In case you have sweet, gentle, princess-like little girls at home, here are some things you just have to know everything about.
Dinosaurs and Sharks
Oh my goodness! If only I had paid more attention in elementary school when we learned all about the different dinosaurs, I might be a little more prepared. So far, we have had 2 dinosaur themed birthday parties (reminder- Noah is 2). Noah can name 5 different types of dinosaurs. We carry the dinosaur toys around and insist that we take multiple dinosaurs to bed at night. He makes them fight each other and eat his cereal and almost all of his t-shirts have some kind of dinosaur on them.
Then, we bought a membership to the aquarium in our home town and now, all we can talk about is sharks. He runs around the house with his hand on his head like a shark fin. He now wants to wear shark shirts all of the time and occasionally alternates with the dinosaur t-shirts.
Trucks, Cars, and Motorcycles
I don’t know if it is in his DNA but he has been driving his toy cars and trucks around my house since he could sit up by himself. He takes his cars and runs through the house driving them on every surface he can reach. He shouts out from the back seat every time a big tractor trailer truck drives by and, watch out if we pass a motorcycle because the excitement just about explodes from his car seat. He got a battery powered Batman four-wheeler for his birthday and we actually have to keep it hidden most of the time because he cannot do anything else when he knows it is around.
And speaking of Batman…
Batman
Personally, I am a Superman fan. He has just always seemed so much cooler to me but, then again, I am a girl. Boys love Batman. I can’t explain it. It might be the dark mask, the cape, or the Bat-mobile or probably a combination of everything. His first real complete sentence was, “I’m Batman!”
Equipment, Lawnmowers, and Tools
For my nephew’s birthday, the universe intervened and 2 people got him the exact same toy lawnmower. This was the perfect bit of mistake because it meant that both my nephew and Noah could play, tirelessly and all night long, pretending to mow the lawn. I mean, those boys mowed the lawn until their heads were dripping wet with sweat. We also have to slow down every time we pass any kind of construction or big equipment on the road and that boy can already work a drill, a screw driver, and a vice grip. He has also been known to want to take his wrench to bed with him… you know, for those late night projects.
I grew up in a house full of women. My mom, sister, and me were not girly girls or princesses but we certainly didn’t care one bit about tractors or dump trucks. My friends who have girls are often amazed at how physical and courageous Noah is. They talk about how cautious and gentle their little girls are. At Noah’s soccer party last month, my best friend’s oldest daughter spent most of the party dancing like a ballerina in the middle of the soccer field. It was awesome!
Noah has helped me to see that life will never be what I expect it to be and no matter what I think I know, I have so much more to learn. I have had to adapt to boy-stuff, learn to wrestle and jump blindly into adventure, and always keep a well-stocked first aid kit nearby at all times. I always had this idea in my head that I would spend years teaching Noah so much about life… I just never knew he would teach me so much so fast.
Embarrassed, Ashamed, and (a little bit) Defensive
I will be the first one to tell you that I am not perfect, Matt and I are not perfect parents, and Noah is certainly not a perfect child. He’s pretty awesome, but far from perfect. Currently, as all two year olds do, he is testing his boundaries, exploring his world, and learning how to relate to others and communicate by watching and mimicking the other kids and adults in his life.
With that said, Matt and I have had to learn to be super conscious about our behaviors and our words at all times. And, while we have failed many, many times, I think we are doing a pretty good job at modeling good behaviors, using our words to communicate emotions and needs, and practicing lots of appropriate behaviors in hopes that Noah will mimic the good stuff.
[At least I thought we were doing a pretty good job.]
This morning, we were running a little late and, when Noah asked for seconds of his breakfast, we just didn’t have time to make that happen. So, after he was dressed and ready for school, I asked him if he would like a cup of cereal to have in the car. Here is the gist of the conversation that followed.
Me: “Noah, do you want Cheerios in a cup to eat in the car?”
Noah: “No Mrs. Mommy! Teddy Grahams!”
Me: “Okay. Teddy Grahams it is.”
Noah: “TEDDY GRAAAAAAHAMS!!!”
Me: “Okay, okay… here are your Teddy Grahams. Just be sure not to let the doggies get them.”
Noah immediately and (I am assuming) accidentally drops one on the floor. Poplar, our voraciously hungry Black Lab, dives in and gobbles it up without even chewing. And then it happened…
Noah: “Oh Shit!”
Matt: “Did he just say what I think he said?!”
Me: “Yeah I think so. What do we do??”
Matt: “I think we should ignore it and just hope it doesn’t happen again. But I think I have heard him say it before.”
Me: “What!? We’ve been working so hard at not saying that.”
Matt: “Apparently not hard enough.”
[But wait… this amazing morning couldn’t possibly get worse or make me feel more like a terrible parent could it???]
I get to Noah’s classroom, give him a big hug and kiss, and wave good-bye as he runs off to grab a toy and play next to his best friend Abigail.
One of his teachers comes up to me and, in a whisper tone, asks me if she can have a word with me. She informs me that Noah has been saying “shit” quite a bit for the last week or so when he gets frustrated. She said he will even clinch his fat little fists and stomp around in a circle saying, “shit, shit, shit.”
Seriously!? My precious little Noah?? He’s the kid that cusses??

When she tells me this, my emotions go from totally ashamed and embarrassed (How could we have done this to my sweet little baby? We try so hard to model good behavior and look at what is happening!)…
…To shear concern (What do you do when he does this? What advice do you have so that we can appropriately address this behavior without making a big deal out of it?)…
…To angry and defensive (How long has this been going on? Why are you just now telling me about it? I am sure there is some other kid in here who is teaching him this word? Are you calling me a bad parent?).
When I leave daycare, I immediately call Matt to let him know that I was just called out by a 21 year-old about what a bad parent I am. He goes immediately to angry and defensive (skipping emotional levels 1 and 2).
Matt: “Every day, they all tell me about what a great day Noah has had. They go on and on about how well he plays, how well he eats, how much he learns and sings. Now, we are bad parents?!”
Me: “Well, we did hear him say it this morning. We know that he is actually doing it.“
Matt: “I don’t care. That’s not the point.”
We then went on to make a plan about changing the movies and TV shows he is watching and what disciplinary approach we were going to take to address the foul language in the future.
But man, not feeling too great about modeling good behavior right about now.
Also, if you happen to have a child in Noah’s class and he or she begins to mimic Noah and say not-so-nice words, I’m sorry. We’re working on it.
Sanity…
I want to apologize. I have been silent on my blog for the last couple of weeks. Not because crazy parenting things haven’t been happening in my house, but because crazy parenting things can be so emotionally draining that the thought of sitting down at my computer and writing sounded about as wonderful as poking myself in the eye with a stick.
Don’t get me wrong- I love writing. It has always been my solace when life gets crazy. But, as life gets crazier and crazier with a 2 year old, finding time to write (which I used to try and do every day) has gotten to be more and more difficult. I no longer have those 2 to 3 hours at night to think about my day, process my experiences, and enjoy the company of my husband. Now, in those few hours after the baby is in bed and Matt and I can finally “let our guard down,” there is the laundry and the dirty dishes, cleaning and organizing, planning for the next day, and last night, Matt had to go out at 8:30pm and buy pull-ups because daycare sent a note home that Noah needs them to help with potty training at school (seriously- a little more advance notice would be awesome!).
And then the next morning at 5:00am, the alarm goes off and we start again (gym, daycare, work, daycare, 2nd job, bedtime routine, housework, bed…). I never understood the “living for the weekend” mentality… until now.
Usually, it is not that bad (or at least it doesn’t seem like it). I guess we still haven’t fully recovered from our crazy summer. We haven’t been able to have any kind of down-time to collect our sanity. And now, what seems to be adding to the exhaustion is that we have discovered the true meaning of “the terrible twos.”
[Man! Does that kid know how to throw a tantrum!?! I mean, is it built into their genetic coding to throw themselves on the ground and writhe in such a way that it is absolutely impossible to pick them up? Is there a toddler class that I don’t know about that teaches them how to go completely limp as soon as they hear the word no?]
Fortunately, I have an amazing husband who does way more than his fair share of the work around the house. He will be the first to tell you that I cannot clean worth a damn. I don’t pre-rinse the dishes before they go in the dishwasher, I don’t measure the laundry detergent or separate colors from whites, and I only vacuum in the event of an emergency. Oh and I am terrible at cleaning up actual messes (be it dog- or baby-created mess).
In fact, the other night, I opened a container of yogurt for Noah’s supper. Somehow, the container slipped out of my hand and strawberry Greek yogurt went flying. I mean, there was yogurt splattered all over the floor, the kitchen cabinets, Noah’s toys, and me.
What I should have done: Get out the mop and cleaning stuff, gotten down on my hands and knees and cleaned up the spill (which is what Matt would have done).
What I actually did: Called the dogs in, let them lick everything, and yelled to Matt, “Don’t worry! I handled it!”
Needless to say, Matt does all of the cleaning. He even re-cleans everything that I tried to clean the first time. I do all of the cooking and grocery shopping. Pre-baby, I handled all of the financial decisions and banking stuff. Post-baby, we split this task. And we have reimagined our previously very defined and rigid roles within our relationship because, well, we had to. Parenting not only shifts your worldview and the way that you experience your environment, it creates new challenges and opportunities that force you to reimagine everything.
I am not a perfect parent… I am so far from being a perfect anything that the word perfect doesn’t even sound like a real word anymore. In a previous post, I talked about striving for adequacy. And I think Matt and I are succeeding. We just need to be reminded of this bigger goal every now and then.
I need to remember that it is okay to force my child to wear pants to school even though it takes 10 minutes to put them on his chunky little writhing and squirming legs. I need to remember that being late to drop him off sometimes is just a fact of life now. And, even though Matt would disagree, it is okay to let the dogs lick up the mess in the kitchen rather than clean it the proper way.
Oh, and remember to write more. For my sanity!